A Pritty Face Suits the Dish-Cloot

Awww I’m a sucker for a wink. A woman winking at me makes me melt inside. I don’t even really care if it’s a condescending wink…one that says “Aw, honey. Thanks for trying, but I got it from here…” Who cares lol, I still swoon a little. Although, if I am honest…self-realizations like these make me worry my swoon-o-meter is a bit off kilter. But, hey ho. 

Anyway, the fact that AL was older than AW made her winking even more sexy. An older woman winking at a younger woman is….well, it’s just one of those experiences in the world that brings me delight and pleasure and makes me feel all warm inside. Sadly, my face muscles have conspired to make my winking abilities quite unsatisfactory. I can wink, but my whole face has to be involved. My mouth (one whole side opens to the point of exposing all my teeth), cheeks (redden), entire eye socket (compresses in on itself), forehead (scrunches)…even nose (nostril flare). It’s the weirdest thing. Quite grotesque. So, I save my winks to combat evil rather than spread good, meaning I only use my wink on the most villainous people out there. But, as two famous Scottish sayings go, "A pritty face suits the dish-cloot” and "A nod's as guid as a wink tae a blind horse.” In other words...um yeah, I have no idea. Anyone from Scotland care to translate?